youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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