whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
