She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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