Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
