"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
