We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
