the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
