wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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