Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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