Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think my mom watched the whole time
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize