So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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