...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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