The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My dick has a subreddit
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
