My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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