Is it because I queefed?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
as a side note pls kill me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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