I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
