Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
