adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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