I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
