you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
