Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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