I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
