I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My ass is underappreciated
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
