im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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