I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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