1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
