What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
