If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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