I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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