maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
