yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
