Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sobbing to NWA
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
