you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
