Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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