Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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