I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
