The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
