Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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