Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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