On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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