hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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