I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
