even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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