I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
