My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
