you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
