What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
