thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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