no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
