i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
