JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
