dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Terrible idea I love it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
