I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
