in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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