apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
