She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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