Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
