One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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