i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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