He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im calling her cock vulture from now on
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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