So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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