so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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