I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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