Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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