To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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