Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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