I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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