I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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