We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I didn't notice because vodka
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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