if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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