so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize