ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
