It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
