Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
